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Grim Tornians Book 1 edition by MK Eidem Romance eBooks

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Grim Tornians Book 1 edition by MK Eidem Romance eBooks

This was a good book with a good story line. What keeps it from greatness is the editing (or lack thereof). Usually this is a dealbreaker for me. This book is so good that while irritating, the flaws could not keep me from wanting to read the rest of the story. There are misspelled words (or incorrect word choices), words left out, the present tense/past tense of the sentences was bizarre. With all that said, I still loved the characters and the story, and I want to know what happens next!


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Grim Tornians Book 1 edition by MK Eidem Romance eBooks Reviews

I was very disappointed in this book after having read so many glowing reviews. I was delighted when I saw that the ebook edition had gone on sale and snapped it up immediately; now I wish I hadn't bothered. This book has been out for quite a while and, since it was been offered in a big promotion, I assumed that the editing issues that many, many reviewers cited in older reviews would have been cleaned up. This was a mistake on my part. The author doesn't have enough respect for her readers to get an editor after all this time. The proofing is atrocious--almost as if this was a first draft. The errors were constantly throwing me out of the story. This is a shame because the the book does some things right. The political intrigue part of the storyline was quite interesting. The book also manages to skirt the usual pitfall of the abduction story where it seems unbelievable for the abductee to fall in love with her captor; here she is very grateful that he has saved her children and appreciates the way that he almost immediately treasures her and her children. Grim is a great character, a strong but caring man who has been wronged in the past in such a way that he feels (and his planet's expectations tell him) that he isn't worthy of love or a family. On the other hand....Lisa was a little too perfect to me. She seems to know just what to do and everyone quickly loves her with slavish devotion. The kids are completely unrealistic, acting far older than they are and always being sweet and perfect despite being uprooted from their home. There was also some inconsistency in the whole paradigm of how women were seen and treated on the planet. While they have the right to just flit from man to man, having the males wrapped around her little finger in fear that she will leave them, they are also at time referred to in denigrating terms "what does she know, she's just a woman" or "you would believe a woman over me?". It just didn't make any sense. There was also the way that all the planet's women where evil, self-centered, conniving b*itches. It was almost misogynistic, expect that you have the earth women who seem to be held up as perfect women. The romance was a little overdone, a little too perfect. The one fight that they have causes Lisa to sink into a melodramatic depression and question everything about her relationship--it's just made up drama for no reason and isn't needed in the story. So that's the good and the bad of it. I have to say that enough was right about it that I didn't DNF it but there was enough wrong with it that I won't be continuing with the series or reading anything else by this writer.
Grim the leader of his people and brother to the emperor. He is badly scarred during an ambush and because of this he is considered unsuitable to have a mate. In tornian society to have any physical flaws is a sign of weakness. It will take a special woman and her two children to show the tornians that Grim is a formidable warrior and worthy of love.
Lisa is a widowed mother of two sweet little girls. She is taken while visiting her husbands' grave. Big mistake, the tornians learn never mess with a human female when it comes to their children. Grim is intrigued by Lisa and agrees to take her back for her children on the condition that she becomes his mate. She agrees and this is where the fun starts.
They are from two different worlds, but they need each other. Grim and Lisa have both been hurt by life. He by his people and she by the loss of her husband. Together they heal each other. What meld the story together are Lisa's daughters. They bring out Grims' gentler side and touch the hearts of his warriors.
A hidden enemy is determined to destroy Grim by taking away his newfound family. That is their mistake, Grim will fight for his family tooth and nail. To take them away is a form of suicide.
Eidem, if you ever want an editor, feel free to send your work to me and I will look it over. Heck, I'll look it over for free, just add me in your Author's Notes with a special asterisk next to it, I don't care, just PLEASE have someone read your work. This book, for a smutty physically-tough-guy-seduces/possesses-mentally-tough-girl-and-they-fall-in-love storyline that we've all seen before, I thought had great potential. I haven't really read any space romance and this sounded really intriguing (and not nearly as weird as other titles I looked into).

What I was not prepared for was the horrible grammar in this book. I constantly stopped reading to stare at my and think, "What is happening? Is this real life?" Eidem doesn't seem to have any concept of tense. I'm not saying this to be rude--this is meant to be constructive criticism. I have read some BAD books that fail at both grammar and plot, but that's what made Grim so disappointing. The writing constantly switches between past and present tense with no rhyme or reason; pick one and stick with it. Commas are also thrown or deleted willy-nilly throughout the book. The plot sounded great and the characters didn't really piss me off, so everything should go well from there. Then you actually read it...and it's like tripping on a raised sidewalk block.

I've read a few reviews that say we should ignore all the grammar mistakes because of how great the story and characters are or we should appreciate the author's time and hard work. Part of the beauty of creative writing, however, is the actual WRITING. How can you ignore consistent, repeated bad grammar? We're not talking about missing commas or quotation marks, but sentences where you have to work three times harder to read or understand because of missing punctuation or incorrect/inconsistent tense. Just because someone took the time to write a book and post it online doesn't mean we should ignore how it is written. Why can't I appreciate and expect quality from both the plot AND grammar? It would be an insult to writers who take care to review their work and ask others to do the same. Every author deserves to have both held in high standards.

I also saw a couple reviews mention how it sounds like it was translated from another language; and honestly, that is actually an accurate way to describe it. The grammar mistakes are just too weird and repetitive for me to understand the thought process. It's like they wrote it one night with their eyes closed, read it over a couple of times, and stamped "job well done" on it. Albeit a very lucky writing process since I said, I actually really liked the characters and the plot (for the most part, there were some issues). If this was translated, I still won't let the mistakes pass by, because there is no way someone else read this before it was published, unless they are horrible at constructive criticism and said nothing.

I honestly wish I could edit the text, send a copy back to Eidem, and have it re-published. Let me go in there, make a ton of fixes, and everything will be fine. The fact that there are a large number of basic mistakes makes me very disappointed in the author and anyone else who read it before publishing, even reviewers who give high ratings. High ratings and ignoring basic writing mistakes doesn't help the reader whatsoever--challenge them and say, "No, we as readers deserve better and we know you can do better. Wow us!" I don't think there is anything wrong with that.

Another annoying habit that Eidem has is the constant use of italics. I think almost every quotation has at least one italicized word. The constant use of italics makes those words lose their significance. Sit and think about it--how would it sound if people actually spoke like this? It's like everyone is hissing at everyone else.

As for plot, I had a few problems with it, but I won't go into too much detail. (Honestly, the grammar mistakes were so infinite that I was probably too distracted by it to have too many issues with the plot). As with many romance novels, the heroine adapted WAY too well with her surroundings. Yes, I admitted that this is a common romance theme, but come on, we can do better. She lived over a month on an entirely different planet with the clothes she could fit into one bag? Without any complaints? Were they ever washed? I would feel so gross, no matter how many times I "cleansed" myself. I understand that she was keeping a stiff upper lip for her kids, but still, the clothes part alone would have been weird for anyone.

The climax of the story was waaaaaaaayyyyy too drawn out. Holy herald, literally the entire back story of the planet, evil plot, and resolution were all spoken by maybe 5 people for practically the entire ending of the book. It's like reading a boring book and then being forced to have a really boring person tell you everything that happened in that book even though you already know what happens...give us some ACTION, not a monologue.

I don't plan on reading the rest of these books, first of all because I was a little disappointed to see what characters they're about--the plot seems to move backwards and forwards and is kind of random. I also don't think I would be able to make it through another mess of grammar mistakes like Grim did. However, I wish Eidem and her readers good luck in their future endeavors!

And, Eidem, seriously, I will gladly read and review a copy of your work before publishing. Message me and I would be happy to, because I want the best for every book.
This was a good book with a good story line. What keeps it from greatness is the editing (or lack thereof). Usually this is a dealbreaker for me. This book is so good that while irritating, the flaws could not keep me from wanting to read the rest of the story. There are misspelled words (or incorrect word choices), words left out, the present tense/past tense of the sentences was bizarre. With all that said, I still loved the characters and the story, and I want to know what happens next!